What You Need to Know When Loss Shows Up With a Gut Punch

by Cindy Bultema

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

My gut-punch arrived with a phone call.

My fiancé David and I were in the midst of planning a dream wedding. I had the sparkly dress, the bridesmaids, the church, the DJ. Then five months before our perfect wedding day, and two weeks before Christmas, one phone call changed everything.

My brother delivered the tragic news: David was in a freak and fatal workplace accident. The rest of the night was a blur as I wept, wailed and threw myself on my hardwood floor. I couldn’t catch my breath or formulate a single sentence that didn’t end with a question mark. Why, God, why? How can You allow this? Where are You? I thought You loved me?

Don’t you wish we would receive a notification, a warning, anything to alert us when everything is about to instantly change? But life doesn’t work that way, and loss doesn’t politely knock on the door to see if this is a good time to turn your life upside down.

Instead, loss often shows up with a life-changing blow that drops us to our knees, gasping for breath. It might be a devastating doctor’s report, betrayal from a close friend or family member, a marriage mess, a virus that veers your perfect plans off-course, a family feud, or an email reporting the seasonal layoff is now permanent.

Though your loss might look very different than mine, we all face the same choice: Will we choose Truth? Will we believe God is good and that He loves us? Will we trust the changeless One when everything has changed?

It’s one thing to say, “I am loved” when selecting a wedding cake and planning a tropical honeymoon. It’s quite another to declare it when standing next to a casket at your fiancé’s funeral. But friend, no matter the loss, it doesn’t change God’s love for us. As we stand with a thousand question marks, we can still have one sure confidence: Our deep pain cannot separate us from God’s deep love. Period.

It’s not just wishful thinking; it’s God’s Word! Romans 8:39 reminds us that “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Do you know what this means? It means NOTHING can separate you from God’s love!

No cancer, credit card debt or coronavirus can separate you from God’s steadfast love. Friend, you are loved. Period.

No doubts, divorce or disaster can dilute His love or detach you from the One who counts your tears, sees your fears and is always near. You are loved. Period.

Your loss might knock you to your knees, but it cannot pluck you from His hand.

In seasons of loss, remember, friend, you always have a choice. Let God’s promises be your oxygen tank and His love be the one sure place you can stand in the chaos of questions. He is with you, He is for you, and He loves you. Period.

Dear God, thank You for Your great love for me every moment of my life, including in seasons of loss and confusion. Even when my eyes are blurred by tears, help me to clearly see You and Your lavish love for me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.


Remind yourself and the tween girl in your life of God’s love for us. The 4-session LOVED. U & ME Conversations Kit is an engaging Bible study that strengthens a girl’s relationship with God and her mom or mentor. Check it out here.



Cindy Bultema is the Executive Director of GEMS Girls’ Clubs and has served in ministry for over 20 years. She is passionate about reaching girls and women with the life-changing message of Jesus. Cindy lives in West Michigan with her husband and their four children. When she’s not running her full household, you can find Cindy walking her two dogs, meeting a friend for coffee, attending her son’s hockey games, or trying to figure out what’s for dinner.

© 2020 by Cindy Bultema. All rights reserved.